


Uncharted Territory

by Theyna_Shipper



Series: TlJ (And Post TLJ) "What-ifs" [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, Post-TLJ, Tension, Unlike most of my other Reylo Fics, lots of fluff, not a slow burn, prisoner, thats a lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23439253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper
Summary: When the Resistance leaves a badly wounded Rey for dead on the battlefield, she is rescued by the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Navigating the waters of a changing war, forbidden feelings, and Rey's status as prisoner, tensions ebb and flow between the pair.“From the minute you step off this ship, you are a prisoner in the eyes of the Order and of intergalactic law. They will attempt to use you for information. I’ve advocated for you as much as I can and will continue to do so. Keep yourself safe.”
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, background Finn/Poe Dameron
Series: TlJ (And Post TLJ) "What-ifs" [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1653646
Comments: 47
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this after seeing Fanart of a wounded Rey waking up next to Ben. I will be alternating (mostly) daily updates with this and Beware the Beast But Enjoy The Feast He Offers. Please enjoy!
> 
> (I don't actually know much about medicine, so I made some stuff up and attributed to a more technologically advanced universe)

“Rey! Rey, are you OK?”  
“Rey, come here!  
“Rey?”  
“We have to go!”  
“We can’t leave her!”  
“She’s not- I don’t think-”  
“She didn’t make it, Finn.”  
“REY!” 

Rey lies on the ground hearing these words amid screams and gunshots, but does not process them. She’s in pain from so many different spots she can’t tell them apart. Her head throbs dully, and she can’t tell how much time passes as she lies bleeding on the ground. 

Until someone picks her and murmurs to hold still, that she’ll be all right. _Rescue? Medic?_ Something about the person feels familiar, but her vision is too unfocused to tell. The blurry field swims before her eyes, and she passes out. 

*********

When Rey wakes up, her head feels foggy and her mouth feels like it is filled with cotton. She’s no longer in pain, but everything is numb. She is under a blanket, a heart rate monitor beeping in the background. _Must be the Resistance medbay?_ She tries to sit up. 

A hand pushes her back down. “Don’t move. It will hurt.”

Rey turns her neck to her right. Her mind is foggy and struggling to process her surroundings. “Be-Ben?” Her tongue feels wooden.

“How do you feel?”

Her tired brain reels. It’s possible she’s hallucinating. Or that she called in the bond in her weakened state. Or that he’s actually here. 

“I feel-” her brain short-circuits while sending the words to her tongue. “Am I- durr- druh-”

He smiles. “You’re high out of your mind; you probably won’t even remember this conversation. Let it wear off.”

She fights to sit up, but he holds her down easily. “Relax. They’re not interrogation drugs, just anaesthetics, and some mild sedatives to help you sleep.”

“In-tear- inter- why-” Her focus is faltering again. 

“Go back to sleep.”

Rey is too weak to do anything else, and drifts back into a foggy sleep. 

When she wakes up for a second time, she remembers well enough so as not to be as confused as she was. More of the anaesthetic has worn off, and she can talk, but the disorientation remains. 

Ben is still there. Probably not a hallucination. 

He doesn’t see her wake up, and she takes a minute to process the rooms. One of her arms is heavily bandaged and the other is strapped down. Restraints or medicine? 

White walls, smells like antiseptic- definitely some kind of medbay. But the equipment is far better quality than any Resistance medical equipment she is used to, and the make is slightly off.

“Where?” she asks, her throat too dry for more than the monosyllable. 

Ben looks over at her. “Water?” 

She nods weakly. He holds a paper cup to her lips while she drinks. Once she drains the cup, she looks up to him. “What happened?”

“You got shot.”

“Thanks, I’d noticed that.”

He smirks. “What else do you remember?”

She searches her memory. A battle. Pain. Shouting. Something hadn’t gone according to plan… but it was all blur in her memory. 

He nods as she relates this. “Unsurprising that your memory is damaged, you sustained a fairly severe concussion.” He looks down at a clipboard that must be her medical records. “You were shot three times, in the shoulder, leg, and abdomen. Missed all your important organs, some internal bleeding, shattered collarbone- nothing the droids weren't able to fix with surgery. And some miscellaneous cuts and bruising.”

“How long will I be stuck here?”

“You’re on stimulants and accelerators for the tissue repair, so hopefully no more than two weeks.”

“And where is here?”

He cocks his eyebrow, as if to ask, _Couldn’t you tell?_ “First Order medship.”

Rey closes her eyes and sighs, her worst fears confirmed. The only thing she could do was determine how much damage had already been done and how much could be prevented.

“What did you take while I was drugged- more drugged?” she growls. 

_“Rey.”_ Ben’s voice is more reassuring than it should be. “Can you just- trust me for one minute? Please.”

 _Please._ It’s the second time he’s said it to her. The Supreme Leader of the First Order- always pleading of her. Something she hadn’t realized in her un-drugged state. 

“I convinced the Order that any information they could get from you in this state would be unreliable.”

“If I’m not giving you information, then why are you wasting all this expensive medical equipment on me?”

“My word is law here, I ordered this. Any other questions?” His tone is terse, harsher than its emotional plea a moment earlier. The shields are back up. But she looks through them, and searches his eyes. 

It comes out in a whisper. “Why did you rescue me?”

He cannot hold her gaze. “You know why.”

*********

“Have any of your memories returned yet? Of the battle?”

Rey shakes her head. Ben comes to check on her every day, sometimes more than once. She understands that his residence is currently on this ship. 

“Do you want to know what happened?”

She nodded. 

“It’s unclear who, Resistance or Order, had the upper hand. The battle was thrown into disarray when a newly emerged terrorist sector dedicated to ending the war by any means necessary ambushed both groups. In the chaos, they were both forced to flee.”

Rey’s head spins. “I thought those were Order troops. 

“And we thought they were Resistance. They’re made of deserters from both Order and Resistance, among others. We don’t know how long they’ve been amassing but they have become a very real threat to both sides. Both Order and Resistance operations have been suspended while we gauge the situation.”

Rey doesn’t know much about military operations or strategy, having been cordoned to her Force-based duties for the most part. But even she knows this is huge. There’s one more question lingering on her mind. 

“You don’t know if any of my friends made it out, do you?”

“Generals Finn and Poe Dameron and General Organa are both known to be alive. I cannot speak for any lower-ranking officers.”

Rey nods. “Thank you.” Mutual respect is the rule of their current… situation. 

He hesitates as he prepares to leave. “Are you comfortable? Is there anything I can- get you?”

“I suppose it's a bit much to ask for something to read? Or just something to do>”

He shifts his lips into a small smile. “I’ll see what I can do.”

**********

The _Galactic History_ Ben gave her is dry and cumbersome. But he and the droids are the only ones who visit her, so she doesn’t need to hide it. And it’s better than nothing, carrying her to the end of her two weeks, when she is finally healed. 

Ben breaks the news of what happens next to her. 

“You’ll be transferred to a holding.” ‘Holding ship’ means the accommodations will be nicer than a prison, she knows, but the rest is dubious. “From the minute you step off this ship, you are a prisoner in the eyes of the Order and of intergalactic law. They will attempt to use you for information. I’ve advocated for you as much as I can and will continue to do so. Keep yourself safe.” He holds out a pair of binders for her wrists. 

She places her hands in them. “Understood?”

“And Rey?” His voice breaks from its militaristic cadence.

“Yes?”

He holds her gaze for a long moment, unsaid feelings sparking between them. “Nothing.”

Hand on her back, he escorts her off the ship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain says edgy Kylo/Ben who is still very much grey but my heart says soft Ben Solo so what you have here is an awkward halfway. Please enjoy and comment.

Rey looks at herself in the mirror, studying the changes to her personal map of scars. Old mix with new- burn scars on her legs are joined by a bullet wound, a matching one on her abdomen. 

The jagged cut, starting from her right cheekbone and slicing across her lip, is one of the most visible. 

Her whole left shoulder is a mess of bullet wound, surgical scars, and unevenness from the healing bone. It is still tender to the touch. 

She pulls her shirt back on and faces the cell. It’s somewhere between a cell and a dormitory, really. The floor and walls are bare concrete, and it’s mostly underground, with a single window of barred bulletproof glass. There’s a bed, and a small bathroom area with the mirror. She has, for the most part, been kept in isolation, with nothing to do. 

She sleeps. A lot. Her body is still healing slowly, and her mind is still exhausted from the constant strain. She exercises, to make up for the body strength she lost while recovering.

The Bond is silent. It’s there, a door in both of their minds that neither of them desired to open yet. 

Not that she’s not thinking about him. All the time. 

_You know why._ What does that mean? Does she know? It seems presumptuous to assume there was something tender in that remark. But she’s not being treated like a prisoner, a tool for interrogation. 

What she knows is that she’s presumed dead, that she’s inescapably with the First Order, and that a third faction has appeared in the war. Problems which she needs to deal with one at a time. 

*****************

There’s Force suppression outside Rey’s cell, but the inside is not blocked. Putting Force suppression on a strongly Force-sensitive individual was not far from torture, a strategy Kylo was desperately trying to prevent the Order from implementing. 

He turns off the Force suppressors so he can walk down the hallway, and pushes open the door to Rey’s cell. She is staring down at the floor, her feet propped on her bed, doing push-ups. She does not notice him. 

“Practicing for your escape?”

Rey looks up at him, then gathers herself and stands up, wiping her forehead. “Passing the time.”

“How’s the shoulder?”

“Better than it was after I got shot. Worse than it was before I got shot.”

He has never actually seen the scarring, jagged and many-layered, before. It looks painful, and reminds him uncomfortably of the time he’d spent recovering from the bowcaster wound. 

“You here to interrogate me?”

He gestures to the door. “Walk with me?”

Rey frowns suspiciously. 

“We’ve landed on a hospitable planet. I imagine you could use the air.”

“And what’s to stop me from bolting the minute I get out?”

He holds out a pair of cuffs. “We have protocols for that.”

Her mouth twitches “So you don’t trust me completely.”

“Should I?”

Rey nods in defeat. She extends her wrists, and allows him to cuff her. He leads her out of the cell and out a passage, giving her her first taste of sunlight in weeks. She tilts her head up to the sky, the wind whipping her hair out behind her. Kylo takes in the sight of her, happy and strong, letting her distraction give him an opportunity to appreciate…

He snaps himself out of it as Rey lowers her gaze. 

“What did you want to tell me?” 

He places a hand on her shoulder and leads her away from the ship. “I am offering you a choice.”

Rey continues walking forward. “Really.”

“The war has changed. We don’t know how long this third faction has been brewing, but clearly long enough for them to become a legitimate threat.”

“What’s their goal?”

“To end the war by any means possible, no matter how many die. They are a terrorist group made up of deserters and untrained fighters.”

“You call them terrorists, yet the Order has killed plenty of civilians.”

“Never under my leadership.”

“So you take no responsibility for the crimes of the First Order?”

“I take responsibility for my role in this war!”

He and Rey hold each other’s glaring gaze for some time. He slows his breathing, and relaxes his stance. “In case the Resistance has not noticed, the Order now honors all wartime laws relating to the treatment of prisoners and civilians,” he growls. 

Rey uncrosses her arms. “What do you want from me?”

“Our new opponent is disorganized and violent. The worst possible outcome in this war would be for them to win. Defeating them may require that we cooperate with the Resistance.”

Rey laughs drily. “So you will work together so that you can go back to killing each other?”

“Have you ever heard the saying ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’?”

Rey nodded. 

“We’ve chosen to prioritize our enemies now. Leading to whatever else may be necessary.”

“Why will the Resistance want this?”

“Other than the fact that it would allow them to defeat an enemy? It allows the Order and Resistance to keep tabs on each other during this time and prevents them from fighting on two fronts.”

“And where do I play in?”

He continues their walk. “You help us work with the Resistance. Tell us what will appeal to them in negotiations.”

“And if necessary, I can be used as a hostage.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I’m under no delusions about my status as prisoner here, Ben,” Rey says. Using his old name, the one which he couldn’t even begin to think of bearing. Except when she used it. 

She looks away. “I’ll do it. For peace. But don’t push your limits on what I’ll give you.”

“Understood.” 

She looks at him. “‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend.’ Does that make us friends?”

It’s hard to focus on the question with Rey looking him dead in the eyes, enchanting his mind. 

“Can we try again?” Rey asks quietly. “At what we gave up on.” 

Kylo swallows; nods his head. 

“Should we go back?”

He guards her on their return, hand still on her shoulder. A new and unforeseen chapter in this story is unfolding before their eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: hey this quarantine is a good opportunity to improve my mental health
> 
> My anxiety, unhealthy coping mechanisms, fanfiction addiction, and sunlight dependency: About that...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I irresponsible and wrote another unconnected oneshot instead of updating? Possibly. But I've updated now so you can't be mad! Otherwise I'll cry.

_Kylo Ren is fluent in many languages of pain. They’re not ones he learned willingly, but useful nonetheless. He can determine the exact broken bone, the depth of a cut, every square centimeter of burnt skin, without even looking._

_Which means that, charged with adrenaline as he is, he immediately recognizes this: he’s fairly certain he’s been shot in the abdomen._

_But when he looks down, there is no blood, not even a hole in his shirt. Perhaps his mind has conjured an injury, surprised as he is to currently be unscathed._

_But when it happens a second time, it cannot be coincidence. An imaginary blow to his leg, making stumble dangerously. These phantom pains must be coming from somewhere; he closes his eyes to concentrate on them._

_**Rey.** Stumbling, bleeding, unconsciously sending him messages of her pain. _

_With this picture in his mind, he sprints away from the battle, seeking her out. He feels another blow to his shoulder, but this time recognizes it as being someone else’s._

_By the time he reaches her, she is unconscious, or close to. The last Resistance ship is fleeing, as are many of the Order’s. They have left Rey for dead._

_He scoops her broken body into his arms and murmurs words he hopes are comforting._

_He has learned another dialect of pain- someone else’s. It is somehow more painful than any he has ever suffered._

Rey has agreed to help the Order make a temporary truce with the Resistance. Kylo is convinced she has her own agenda, but he has yet to figure it out. Or maybe it is just peace. But everyone has their own agenda; this is war. 

He’s unwilling to admit to himself that he’s _missed_ her. Even after nearly losing his mind when she nearly lost her life. But then she goes and argues with him until they find a bizarre halfway and he wants her close again. 

Her small chambers are down the hall from his. Better than hers as a prisoner, though still sparse. 

“Is this really necessary?” Rey growls as he unclips the cuffs from his belt. 

He raises one eyebrow. “You said you were under no delusions about your status here.”

“So I _am_ a prisoner.”

“I’ve made enough exceptions for you already,” is his reply. 

Rey rolls her eyes and thrusts out her wrists. “You’re such a gentleman.”

“Shut up.” The lock clicks. 

“Where are you taking me?”

“It’s a briefing, where you’ll be updated on our current status with the Resistance. Don’t ask questions, don’t draw attention to yourself, stay focused.” He holds a loose grip on her arm while guiding her down the hallway. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Rey nods coldly at the Order officers in the room, and takes a seat in a corner. Her arm burns where Ben’s hand was. 

She feels like a lizard camouflaging is the dark, silent room. Her clothes are dark and practical. Grey collared shirt, black slacks, brown boots. She keeps her hair up in three buns, just a slight statement of rebellion and individuality, to keep her from fading into nothing. 

She follows Ben’s instructions, getting a sense they were as much to protect her as to keep her out of the way. But she feels she learns very little new, except that the Resistance is still not consenting to meet. And she can’t blame their distrust. Assassination, cloak-and-dagger operations, are certainly not beneath what she has seen and heard of the First Order. 

It takes several hours. When Rey gets up to leave, she forgets about the cuffs for a moment, and reaches to push herself off the arm of her chair. But her balance fails, and she stumbles on the slick floor. 

Ben reaches out reflexively to stop her, gripping her forearm and pulling her to her feet. Rey looks up at him, flushed and startled. “I- thank you.”

He nods. Half the room is staring at them. 

“Dismissed,” Ben orders. The room clears. “Be careful,” he chides. “Your leg is still healing.”

Her first instinct is to snap at him, tell him she doesn’t need to be treated like some weak little girl. That’s what she would have said to Finn. But this feels different. She doesn’t shake his hand off, just nods her thanks and leaves with him. 

He uncuffs her when they return to her room. “Do you need anything?” 

Rey hesitates before making the request that’s been on her mind. “Can I contact the Resistance? Let them know I’m still- alive or whatever?”

He shook his head. “That would complicate things.”

“As in you’d lose me as a bargaining chip.”

“We could only even use you as a bargaining chip if they knew you existed!” He flushes. “Not that I would.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” she hisses. 

“Rey, I’m not even in control of _half_ of this,” he growls. “Do you know how much I’ve had to give up, to ‘delegate’, just so I could sleep in my own damn bed at night without getting murdered? How many people I’ve had to convince not to commit war crimes and worse?”

“Oh, you’re being such a kriffing _saint_ work for the First Order, holding me prisoner by your own admission, using-”

_“You’re not a prisoner._ You have no idea how many opportunities I’ve given you to run, just to see if you would take them. You haven’t even looked for them. What’s keeping you here.”

“I don’t know, Ben, what’s one reason that would want to keep me in a nest of enemies. One goddamn thing I’d want here that’s not with the Resistance?” She leans close, her question demanding a serious answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“I-”_

_Rey often wakes up, feverish and drugged, and mutters something incoherent before falling back to sleep. But now she seems to be addressing him._

_“Go back to sleep.”_

_“I want-” she stumbles on her words, clearly trying to express something._

_“Are you alright? Do you need something?”_

_“I wanted to-” she swallows. “I wanted to take your hand.”_

_He is frozen in shock, uncertain what sentiment has been brought out by Rey’s incapacitated state. “You-?”_

_“Ben’s hand.”_

_She falls back to sleep, certain never to remember or think of this again. Kylo, not so much._

“There’s nothing. So why don’t you just leave?” His question, too, demands an answer. 

But Rey doesn’t answer with words. She grabs the front of his shirt and yanks him down to her lips, her kiss desperate, angry, and passionate. Kylo has barely recovered from his shock before she lets him go. 

“Why do you _think_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you might have noticed he's referred to as both Kylo and Ben, he's Kylo when it's narrated from his perspective, and Ben from Rey's, just to clarify :)


	4. Chapter 4

Rey leans away from the hologram as it flickers out of view. It’s a relief, of course, to see that Leia is alive and well. But the message itself is less than comforting. 

“While we acknowledge the significance of this gesture, until the First Order is willing to be the first to make concessions, any military alliance or cease-fire will be impossible. We await your response.”

Rey looks down at her notepad. “They need something more concrete than a ceasefire. An actual offer. What can you give them.”

“That’s what you're supposed to tell us,” Hux replies icily. 

Rey considers what the Resistance needs- land, supplies, men, morale- nothing the order can give- unless…

“How many Resistance prisoners do you have?”

“What?”

“A prisoner exchange. Offer them that. You give them your Resistance prisoners in exchange for the Order prisoners. The Resistance _needs_ the men.”

“With all due respect,” one of the generals says, her voice dripping with venom, “Do you think we can afford to strengthen the Resistance thus?”

“Can you afford to lose this war to the Peacemakers?” Rey snaps. “You asked for my advice. I gave it.”

The generals look at Rey with surprise. She is standing, shouting, demanding. _Remember your place,_ she reminds herself. She sits back down. “The decision is yours to make.”

“We’ll consider the proposal.” 

Ben reaches under the table for her hand. She does her best to mask her smile. 

“Meeting adjourned,” he announces. 

They wait for the room to clear. “What do you think?” Rey asks quietly. 

“I must admit I’m partial to your plan,” he murmurs, tilting her chin up towards him. “Although they will take some convincing.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure that part out.” Rey tangles her hand into his hair “But not now.” She sighs softly as he pulls her into a passionate kiss. 

It’s like a dream, living this secret life with Ben. And quite frankly, damn the consequences, the risks. The whole world thinks she is dead. Let her live a little. Because she’s never _been_ in love before, and surely this is what it is to be in love. Even if she can’t say it just yet. 

And Ben is different, too. He’d meant it when he asked her to start something new with him, and even as he remained within the Order, it is changing. Occasionally, it makes her regret her choice. 

“I should go,” Ben whispers. 

Rey sighs. “Not just yet.”

“I’ll see you again soon,” he promises. They leave the room, and he turns her over to a guard. “Escort Miss Rey back to her room.”

The guard nods. She grabs Rey’s arm tightly to lead her down the hall. 

The Order resents her presence, and she knows it. They cannot hurt her, but they can make her life harder, and she keeps her head down. 

“Rumors are starting to fly about you and the Supreme Leader,” the guard says tauntingly. “But I’m sure it’s just unfounded gossip?”

Rey ignores the woman and keeps her gaze forward. 

“He does spend enough time around you.”

“I’m a diplomatic advisor,” Rey growls. “And quite frankly, I don’t think the Supreme Leader’s life is your business.”

“And is it yours, girl?”

Rey shrugs off the guard’s grip. “This is my room.” She marches in the door and sits down on her bed, actually _relaxing_ , something rare in her life and strange in her circumstances. But sometimes one just accepts the strange gifts life gives you. 

**********

Not all the soldiers resent or dislike her. And quite frankly, that worries her more. Infiltration, especially by the ‘Peacemakers’, is a risk. As strange as it is to say, she currently supports the Order above them. 

The Resistance still has not consented to any deal with the Order, even after they took Rey’s advice. It upsets her to think that the Resistance would not want to pull their men and women out of first Order jail. She can only pray that there is a grander plan, and places her trust in General Organa’s strategic expertise. 

But all her worries, fears, and concerns come to life when two guards stop to talk to her. She is alone, having been left with them to walk outside. 

“We’re on your side,” one of them hisses.

“What?”

He looks around to ensure they are alone. “We’re with the Resistance and the Peacemakers. Infiltrated the Order.”

“They’re working together. The Resistance and the... Peacemakers?”

“Desperate times.”

The other guard glares. 

“We’re going to free you. Take down the Order, starting with their leader. And you’re close to him often enough.”

“I don’t-”

One of them hands her a gun. “You will. This evening.”

 _This evening._ A press conference given to the whole galaxy. And she’ll be asked to shoot the Supreme Leader. 

Rey tries to reach Ben in any way she can- demanding she has something important to tell him, through the Bond- but is unsuccessful. She is still without a plan when the same guards come to escort her to his side. 

“Why do you want me, if you will be there too?” she hisses. 

“You’re an emblem of the Resistance. To see you deal this final shot- it will be a huge boon for morale.”

This could be true. But it feels like they _know_ something. That they will have guns to her back and she will not be able to deny their ‘offer’, like some disgusting psychological torture to punish her for the life she is living. 

Her mind flies with plans, trying to reach Ben. But something is wrong- she cannot find him in the Force. 

It all falls into place when she enters the room. Ben, the only one in the room, cuffed to a chair. It’s not an assassination, it’s an execution. Stars know how long this has been planned. 

“End the war, Rey.” He guides her hand up and onto the trigger. 

Rey’s hand shakes on the gun. She stares down the barrel at the man who had sowed war through the galaxy- the one person in her world who understood her. 

She pulls the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cLIFFHANGER!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the last cliffhanger! Here goes more.

Kylo always tells Rey he will see her soon. It is one small thing he can promise her in their uncertain life. When a someone who must have been a spy stands up and murders every officer in the conference, and stuns Kylo, his first thought flies to Rey- he has to keep his promise.

He wakes up cuffed to a chair in a brightly lit room. He is unguarded but completely cut off from the Force. He has a vague sense that Rey is trying to reach him, but cannot reach back out. 

He scans the room for something that might be of use, but comes up blank. He thrashes around in the chair unsuccessfully before surrendering himself to the fact that he’ll have to wait until someone else comes in. 

That someone else is Rey. With two guards. And a gun. 

_No. It can’t be her._ Surely this can’t have been some elaborate ploy to catch him off his guard. Rey has more pride than that. He trusts Rey more than that. 

His mind reels. Rey looks angry, like she’s been forced to come here. Her hands shake on the gun and she has to be guided to its aim. 

And something in her eyes pleads to him. For what? Forgiveness? Trust?

_Trust._

He holds still and prays for her trust. 

**********

Rey silently begs Ben to trust her: _Please, just hold still, don't say anything, please._ He can’t hear her, but maybe he can feel it. 

She pulls her aim to the side, the bullet flies over his shoulder, a window shatters. In the half-second of stunned silence that follows, she spins and shoots both her captors. A key glints on one of their belts; she grabs it and runs towards Ben. 

The cuffs come off easily. She cups his face in her hands before pulling him into a kiss. 

“I love you,” she gasps, for the first time in her life. 

“This is being broadcast to the whole galaxy,” he whispers. 

“That’s not how you’re supposed to respond,” she whispers back. 

“I love you too, Rey.”

She smiles and kisses him again, irregardless of the many cameras. Let the galaxy see. 

They stand up together. Ben indicates the guards on the floor. “They lied to you about being with the Resistance. They’re both ex-order.”

“Thank the stars,” Rey whispers. “Is there any way to get out of here?”

He shook his head. “We’re right at the center of base. The most we can do is lock down the building and delay the arrival of Peacemaker reinforcements.”

They lock the room. Rey yanks a dangling microphone down to her level. “If anyone in the Resistance is listening, please trust me, and _please_ send someone.” She follows this with a set of coordinates, then turns off all outside contact. “How long do we have?”

“Maybe five minutes until they’re outside of the door. After that, this room is designed to withstand nuclear blasts, so who knows?” He sits down. “I can’t go with you back to the Resistance. They’ll shoot me on sight.”

“No, they won’t,” Rey insists. 

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll be a representative of the Order. You’re going to work on a deal together. You’ll exchange prisoners and collaborate on supplies. You’ll work together to end this, or so help me god-” she leaves the sentence. 

“You really want to work with the First Order? I know you’ve only been doing this because you don’t have another option.”

“We still don’t.”

*************

“What the kriffing _hell_ was that?”

“Calm down, Poe,” Rose sighs. “I’m sure there’s an expla- actually, no, what the kriffing hell _was_ that?”

“Language, Tico,” Leia chides. “And I’m as confused as you. But if Rey is alive and trapped on an Order base, we have to help her.”

“How do we know this wasn’t a trap? How could Rey possibly still be alive? How do we know they aren’t luring us into a trap?”

“No one actually checked her for pulse or breath,” Finn says. 

“And we’re tapping Order channels, they’re almost as confused as we are,” Rose adds. 

Poe interrupts. “I think we’re still ignoring the elephant in the room.”

“Which is…?”

“Not only did Rey decline the opportunity to kill the Supreme Leader, she took the opportunity to _kiss_ him.”

Chewie growls something about the Supremacy. All eyes fall on him as he continues, and they wait for General Organa to translate.

“He says Rey left Ach-To months ago to go find Ben on the Supremacy. They killed Snoke together, and Rey tried to convince him to come with her, but he wouldn’t,” Leia explains. “They must have some way to communicate- but that’s impossible- unless-”

“Are we going to go get her or not?” Finn demands. 

“We’ll start organizing men immediately.”

**********

Rey has not slept for thirty-six hours. She doubts she could, surrounded as she is by the sound of people trying to break in. She obsessively checks the seals on the door, checks the time, paces the floor, waits for Resistance rescues. 

“You need sleep,” Ben tells her. “We could be stuck here for days. You can’t be on your guard the whole time. We can take shifts.”

Rey sits back down. “You first.”

“Don’t think I could.” 

“So you know how I feel.” She squeezes his hand and resumes her alternating sitting, checking, and pacing. 

“At least try to calm down,” he pleads. “Breathe. Relax.”

“I’m not dying here,” she snaps. 

“Of course you won’t. I won’t let anyone _touch_ you. But you can’t keep them out by panicking.” He pulls her close and kisses her forehead. “Please?”

Rey surrenders and relaxes in his embrace. She tries to pass the rest of the time by sitting with him. 

It has been forty-eight hours when the hall fills with the sound of gunfire and a pounding on the door. 

“Open up, it’s me, Finn!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a chapter, as you'll notice. Thanks for the continued support, sorry about the angst, please enjoy.

Rey’s voice trembles. “Prove it.”

He mutters some Resistance codes. Rey cautiously approaches the door, holding her gun to the opening, until she recognizes the man on the other side. She looks around. “Only one of you?”

“We cleared the hallways on the way here. We’ll meet the rest on the other end.”

Rey nods and steps out. Finn looks behind her at Ben, eyes narrowed. “Does he have a gun?”

“We can’t afford to have any of us unarmed,” Rey snaps back. There will be many complications if Ben makes it back to the Resistance, and she does not want to add yet another at a crucial moment like this. “Which way?”

Finn nods down a hallway. 

“I’ll cover the back,” Finn mutters, pivoting and pointing his gun behind him. They move quickly but carefully through the passages. 

Rey is running on sheer adrenaline, making her nervous and jumpy, every sound startling her. But the caution proves useful when they come to a series of guarded passages. “Two o'clock,” she hisses. “Is there another way?”

“Three passes. All lead the same way. All guarded. We can’t go through them as a group, we’ll attract too much attention. But maybe if we split up…?”

Rey nods. “Each take a path, link up at the end. And may the Force be with us.”

_I’ll see you soon,_ Ben promises to her silently through their bond. 

_Not if I see you first._

They seperate and duck down the halls. 

Ben’s path is easy. The guard is lax and barely turns around. Small distractions, a little meddling with his focus through the Force, and Ben is through. He hopes Rey thinks to do the same; he is confident that she will. 

Finn is already there when Ben emerges. 

“Where’s Rey?”

“Still waiting on her. Have you heard anything?”

Ben shook his head. He reaches out to Rey. _Are you safe?_

_RUN._

Rey’s path is less easy. The guards are on high alert, and her own skittishness is putting a massive handicap on her stealth. She attempts to do what she’d done to guards in the past- _don’t look this way, just relax, don’t notice me_ \- but she is not calm, and cannot transmit calmness. Her fried nerves fill the room, and one wrong step is all it takes for her to be noticed and immediately apprehended. 

They drag her in the direction she was going- towards where Finn and Ben will be waiting for her. She tries to send Ben a warning, to get out of there before they, too, can get caught- _RUN_

But she is too late. Despite her struggles, in the hopes of slowing if not escaping them, she is dragged in front of her friends. They are ringed by a dozen or so guards. The barrel of a gun is shoved against Rey’s neck. 

“Drop your weapons.”

Both men stand their ground. “What do you want?” Ben spits. 

“Your allegiance. Swear yourselves to us and we will not harm you.”

“Never,” Finn growls.

“Then the girl dies.”

Rey shook her head furiously. _Leave me. Keep the Resistance safe._

“Take me,” Ben shouts. All heads snap to him. “Take me as a prisoner. Let everyone else leave unharmed.”

_Ben, no!_

_I can’t watch you get hurt again. I’ll see you on the other side._

The soldiers look between themselves and mutter. “We’ll take him. Hurry out if you know what’s good for you.”

They shove Rey into Finn’s arms and take Ben. She is too shocked to move for a moment; then her vision blurs. She reaches out to scratch the arm of a soldier, forcing Finn to restrain her. She fights against him, struggling and screaming. “BEN!” she shrieks. “BEN!” She screams until her throat is hoarse, screams until she cannot breathe, cannot see. 

She doesn’t remember getting to the Falcon. Was she carried, or did she somehow walk in her dissociated state? Her mind reels, covered in other people’s blood, a dull ache in her chest. There is a shock blanket on her shoulder and a cup of lukewarm liquid in her hands. She sips it to find that it’s very weak tea. 

Finn sits down next to her. “Your boyfriend has plenty of surprises up his sleeve.”

Rey smiles weakly. “Yeah.”

Finn wants to comfort her, but does not know how. To tell her that he’ll be fine? That he’ll take care of himself? He barely knows this man, and his opinion of him is not a friendly one. In the end, he leaves her to herself and resumes walking the halls of the ship.

***********

Leia meets with them almost as soon as they disembark. “Oh, goodness, We’re so happy you’re _alive_ , Rey. Is everyone alright? What happened? Where’s…?”

She looks down at Rey, who is spacey and red-eyed. “Rey?”

The girl looks up. “Your son turned himself in to enemy forces to allow the Resistance to escape safely. I suggest you honor him by re-evaluating the peace deals the Order offered.” Her voice is brittle and robotic; her speech sounds practiced and forced, like it’s the only thing she could say right now. “Can I go?”

The general nods. “Do you want to talk-”

“No. I don’t,” she snaps. “I just had to hold a gun to the head of the man I love, and then let him turn himself in to our enemies, and I _don’t_ want to talk.”

She storms out and drags herself back to her chambers. She tried her hardest to do her part in this war, first to win it, then to change it, and now it’s just _pain_. Because everyone- herself, the Resistance, Ben, the First Order- was too proud to look for another way other than _killing._ She wonders what would have happened if she’d taken Ben’s hand all those months ago. Created something newer and better. 

And now she’ll never kriffing now. 

She throws herself onto a cot and cries herself to sleep. .


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the positive reception! Please enjoy a heaping dose of angst followed by a healthy dose of fluff.

_Seven months_

Seven months of waiting and wishing and hurting, hurting to her soul. 

The first month, all Rey feels is pain. His pain. Her pain. Physical pain. Emotional pain. She can’t tell the difference anymore. There is probably some of all of it. 

She tries to reach out to him, but he is blocking her out, or maybe being blocked from her. All she feels is this incurable _pain_ , pain that keeps her from moving or thinking or talking or doing anything. She snaps at anyone and everyone who tries to talk to her. She is in and out of medbay for refusing to eat or for taking insane risks during training. She’s a useless, unhelpful soldier, and she knows it, but she has neither chivalry nor pity left in her. 

Everyone tells her how worried they are for her. She nods and makes empty promises of eating or sleeping more. It’s all water off her back. Or maybe it’s acid, she just can’t feel it anymore. 

The second month, the pain is replaced with a dull numbness. She can feel him, but it is a dull, unchanging feeling, like a shadow. But he has to be alive still, right? She wouldn’t be able to feel him if he was dead, would she?

Actually, she has no idea how this works. He could be dead. The crushing weight of her ignorance keeps her flying to the dullness for comfort. It is all she can do to keep herself alive. 

The third month, she works. She buries herself in duties, works to give herself something to do other than wallow in grief and self-loathing. She volunteers for dangerous missions until she is told she’s not ‘mentally stable’ enough. It’s only now that she realizes how she must appear to the rest of the base. They do not know for whom she mourns; those who do not know why she mourns, even Leia is confident her son is still alive- or else the general is bearing up better than Rey. 

Because Rey feels wrenched in half, like a part of her soul is being twisted and tortured and stars know what else. Distance shouldn’t be a factor, so why, _Lord, why_ is it?

The fourth month, she begins translating the Jedi texts with Leia and C3-PO’s help. She learns about something called a _dyad_. Rare, so rare, almost unheard of. But it sounds oddly familiar- not oddly familiar, comfortingly familiar. It’s them. She’s _not_ alone. 

And a dyad sustains. Which means he’s still out there, somewhere, even if she cannot find him. 

It’s only a thought, a theory. But it’s hope. A tiny flame of hope that she can nurture and build off. Something to fuel her and keep her alive and _hope_. 

In the fifth month, she starts to live a little again. There’s an unofficial bar on the base where plenty of soldiers and mechanics relax, play cards, and trade for drinks. It’s perfect for her, because she can sit with people and reaccustom herself to it without being expected to actually interact with anyone. 

“Don’t think I’ve seen you down here before,” Poe remarks, sitting next to her. “Welcome to our humble abode.”

“It’s not yours!” A girl tending bar shouts at him. He tips his glass towards her and turns back to Rey. 

“You should tell Finn to drop by here sometime,” he remarks. 

“He’s too pure to come to a bar, isn’t he?” Rey smirks, tipping back her drink. “Ask him out yourself, Dameron.”

Poe changes the subject. “Careful with your liquor, seeing’s your not a regular.”

“I’m a scavenger, Poe, I can handle booze. The stuff we drank back on Jakku was glorified rubbing alcohol.”

“Just looking out for your health.”

Poe is easier to talk to and joke around with. He doesn’t ask her how she’s doing in that special voice, doesn’t tell her it’s good to see her up and about. Later, she beats herself for letting herself forget Ben, even for a moment, but for that moment it feels good. 

She only drinks enough to dull the pain, never enough to bring up memories. Never enough to hurt the next day. Just enough to soften the memory, if not forget, for a night. 

The sixth month is tinted with hope on the horizon, wrapping up with a surrender by the Peacemakers. The understandings reached during the Resistance and Order’s military alliance will make peace much easier. 

Everyone is ‘so proud’ of Rey at how well she’s done these past few months- from close to a medical discharge to being back in the conference room with generals. And stars, it makes her want to puke every time someone says so. _You’re proud of me for dragging myself from hell to Purgatory and putting on a happy face?_ But she doesn’t say this. She holds her breath and waits for the storm to pass, waits for it to all be worth it. 

The seventh month, it is worth it. It’s worth it when the prisoner releases are announced, when Ben will be ‘returned to the Resistance’ (he’ll be returned to Rey, that’s the only person he’d let himself belong to). 

And he’ll be effing hard to convict if the Resistance follows their own policies for leniency to deserters- five years’ service- and Ben inadvertently made a Resistance hero of himself protecting Rey. 

Rey makes sure she is therethe _second_ he is released, swimming in a crowd of people awaiting the release of their loved ones. It’s all she can do not to hop the barricade on the runway and run to him, can’t even toss a coherent word to him except his name.

Andshe hears her own, silent but clear inside her head, in his voice. _Rey_. She is weeping openly by the time she launches herself into his arms, pulling herself up to his lips. And she realizes there are cameras, and _Dammit, why are there always cameras_ and she doesn’t care, because _Ben_. 

She finally has breath and voice returned to her. “You owe me an _explanation_ , darling.”

“I promised I’d see you soon, love.”

“Seven months is not _soon_!”

But she’s waited nearly fifteen years for someone before, someone who never came back, someone who was not worth fifteen years. 

He’s worth at least seven months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you want me to do an epilogue!


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the OVERWHELMING positive response to this fic. As per your requests, I've written a short and soft epilogue. Please enjoy!
> 
> TW: Pregnancy

“After the war” is a strange thing. It is something everyone has talked about for years, fantasized about what they will do _after the war_. But when “after the war” is the same as “now”- that is harder to process. Much as they have dreamed of this day, the war is all plenty of them have known, for years. Some of them stay enlisted, helping with the cleanup and rebuilding. But there are no longer jobs for everyone, and some are forced to learn something else. 

Rey avoids broaching some topics for some time, waiting until Ben is ready to talk about them, but when he doesn’t, she wonders if he is waiting for her. 

“Did they torture you?” Rey asks quietly. He nods. “I felt it. Your pain.”

He looks horrified. “Rey, I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to-”

“Shh.” She strokes his cheek soothingly. “I would have wanted to know. To carry some of it for you.” She remembers that the pain only lasted a few weeks, though. “Why did it stop?”

“You wouldn’t like it if you knew,” he warns her. “I’m not proud.”

She touches her fingers to his temples. “Can I see?”

He opens his mind to her, letting her see what had transpired. He spares her the painful prelude, only the sight of him writhing free from a guard’s grasp, to steal a blaster and shoot his torturer. Then he turned and shot the remaining, pallid and scared guards. After that, he was too considered dangerous and was left alone. 

When they open their eyes again, Rey is cradling his head in her lap. “They were just kids, most of them” he whispers. “Barely knew what they were doing.”

She understands why he is fixating on this as opposed to anything else- that _these_ soldiers, these that he killed with his bare hands, are representative of all the young and innocent blood spilled in this war, enough of which he is responsible. 

“That’s the past,” she tells him soothingly. “We can’t change it. We can only change the future. Make it better, safer. There’s another kid you can make a better world for soon.”

He sits up in surprise looking at Rey. “You aren’t....?”

She nods, her own happy tears threatening to overflow. She places his palm delicately over her abdomen. There is a faint, almost indiscernible, presence in the Force from the unborn child. She watches Ben’s face of shock and awe and apprehension as he senses it. The _potential_ , the tentative balance that comes with every new child of the Force. It is new and thrilling and frightening. “Don’t be afraid,” she tells him. “I feel it too.”

It takes time to accustom her companions to the idea of having Ben at her side- as her ally, her friend, some day her _husband_. It helps that they aren’t there, leaving for Naboo to start a new life and a family. 

And Leia, she has her son back. Rey does not see their emotional reunion, nor would she want to come into the center of it. She knows Ben needs his mother, and Leia needs her son. And one day, her grandchild. 

“You’re like the daughter I never had, Rey,” the general tells her. “I never could have imagined- _this_ , that this would be ours- yours, his, my- happily-ever-after, but- I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m so happy for you.”

Rey wraps her in a grateful and loving hug, the mother she never had. Her family is not who she was born from- it is those who love and take care of her. It is Ben and it is Leia, but it is also Finn and Poe and Rose, it is Chewie and even the droids, it is the memory of Han and Luke. She cannot think of a family she would rather her child be born into. 

The baby has Ben’s eyes and hair, Ben insists she has Rey’s nose and smile. They name her Padmé, after Ben’s grandmother, a woman buried but nonetheless important to the Skywalker legacy. 

The child becomes everything to Ben. He is nothing but devoted to his wife and daughter, the love and fierce protectiveness that has always existed in him coming to full fruition with them under his care. 

“Do you remember when I said I saw your future?” Rey asks quietly. 

“Is this what you saw?”

Rey shakes her head. “This is far better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, stay safe and healthy!

**Author's Note:**

> Your feedback is greatly appreciated, comments keep me alive!


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